Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
