I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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