someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
