If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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