I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
