Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it was like having sex with a tree stump
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
