Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
