Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
