My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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