somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I love you. Go after that dick
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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