Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
