I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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