I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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