Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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