we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize