I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
