The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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