I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Its about making memories worth repressing
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
