If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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