I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
