we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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