physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
