You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
