didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
