Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize