I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize