He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
