I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
