you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize