I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
