At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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