flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
