I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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