to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
