You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
