Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
