so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
