Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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