In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize