A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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