found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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