SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
