Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
