normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
