We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
