Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize