Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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