The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
