I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
