my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
