I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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