Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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