His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
