Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
