Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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