Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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