Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
