And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
