i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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