When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
