Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just cropdusted the office
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize