it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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