Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
